NewLife

Healing Seminar 7 November 2010




I fly down from the high cliff and reach my wings out wide. I have flown away, I am free!

I summersault in the air and shout with joy and release. Freedom is mine Newlife begins.....as I swoop back to the edge of the cliff.....

...I become a Chinese Ninja. I rise above the ground and hang in the air and kick out with a shout of triumph. I swing my arms in fury and with great focus. I am mad, I am angry, I am ready to fight. I turned smoothly around and become a spanish dancer.......

..... with a flurry I swing my heavy dress around, lifting my arms confidently. I stretch out twisting my body. Passion fills my chest and I dance and dance and dance. Looking for the love, needing the love, desperate for the love. Challenging the love to come to me...

As the healer holds his hands over my broken heart I crumple and cry out in pain. I sob and choke, I scream and yell. Howling out until I am empty.

My crumpled heart lies on the dry earth exhausted and depleted......On my haunches with my forehead in the sand, I start feel a gentle bubbling in my chest. A chuckle and then a laugh errupts from me. I laugh and laugh and laugh till my belly and my cheeks ache.

I lift my head and as I open my eyes I see two closed lillies. The petals start to open right before my eyes......a gentle voice says "look up".  As I sit up and raise my eyes to the valley every closed lily opens gently, for me, until the whole valley is a symphony in white.......smiling at me, blooming for me, supporting me...

Next step



 I have been packing all day, with a wonderful energy and excitement for what lies ahead.
I move on the 1st October!

One never stays in the same place. Whether you like it or not you grow and move forward. To look ahead must become a habit. Sometimes to look behind at oldlife makes me sad, but newlife memories are funny and I can only shake my head.

I cried the first time I used a box colour on my hair. I was devastated.
I was scared to fall asleep in my flat alone and kept peering through the curtains into the tiny garden, when I did sleep I had nighmares.
I got lost driving to Brooklyn and I cried.
I sang uplifting songs all the way to Jhb when I got a job as a junior web developer, and cried all the way home.
I was ashamed to sit at the uif offices when I was retrenched a year later.
I felt guilt and shame the first time I dated a very sweet man, after being monogomous for 26 years.
I was self-conscious of my body and felt fat and old.
I missed my botox and facials, and I missed my boat.
I felt frustrated that I had to vaccuum and clean my own flat, I needed my housekeeper.
I laughed and cried when I realise that I'd had the shortest career as the oldest junior web developer in probably the whole country.
I cringed when my neighbour, who is old enough to be my child, repremanded me about parking in his spot.

but
Yesterday I laughed when someone put a sign on my car......"do not park so selfishly again!" Ok so I had parked over two parkings because it was the only shade. I left the sign on my windscreen all day and giggled to myself as I watched it flutterring in the wind.
I'm happy and free and never harbour guilt.
Although I've put on weight this year I feel beautiful and competent.

I am liberated.
I am grateful for the lessons and my gps.
Now I'll only look back to shake my head and laugh.

oh....and I bought another power tool!

Naughty Granny

The grandchildren had two grannies.
They wanted to differentiate between the grannies.
Both Grans had little dogs - as most Grannies do.
So they became known as Granny Spot and Granny Rufus.

I think I'll suggest this idea to my grandchildren - (when I eventually have them.)

.......and I'll be ready with my little dog.
I think I'll call her "Pretty".

Vivaldi - Gloria: 1. Gloria in excelsis Deo - Trevor Pinnock - The Engl...

This has to be my favourite piece of music in all the world to listen to.
I found this version on youtube and feel very nostalgic.
Anton Hartman conducted the Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestra and the SA Youth Choir in 1979, my matric year. I was an Alto in the choir.

Crazy Spring Fever

It's been a while since I woke up feeling like a good spring clean.
The sound of the neighbours vacuum cleaner could have sparked some feeelings of guilt?
Or the fact that the sun is shining bright and hot for the first time in ages....
Whatever it was got me going nice and early - well, nine is early for me!
Unfortunately the spring clean got out of hand and turned into a bit of mania.
When on my hands and knees reaching into a corner to suck up that elusive web (including spider I'm afraid), I look up to see that the underside of the desk is VERY dry. Thirty seconds is all it takes, and I retract myself with the bright idea of oiling the desk.....at this point you should say to yourself - "STOP"
.....but I pull the desk out as far as it will go, cords allowing, with my foot. Holding the screen and my laptop in either hand I lie over the desk to place these two sensitive pieces of equipment onto the floor - on the far side.
Of course the cords are wound around the desk leg and the laptop won't reach the floor so I have to gently pull left to allow the plug to pop out....and voila I can go all the way down.
The laptop complains with melodious bleeping sounds, of too little battery and the 3G gets janked out in the process and falls to the floor from its prestik plug on the wall.
The desk has to be tipped over in a tiny space so out of the sliding door is the only option, but beacause my spring clean took on epic proportions there are kelims drying all over the patio.
No problem to move the kelims to make place for the desk...

Isn't the smell of oiled wood the most amazing thing?

I have a powertool!

I walked into builders warehouse to buy a spanner.

I walked out thrilled with my new Makita electric, cordless screwdriver!
Flat nose, stars and spanners - lots of them.

I couldn't wait to get home to open the box.

Small gasps of delight -

Is there something wrong with me?
ok - don't answer that!

Studded, Shiny gym pants

So I'm chuffed and very obviously shiny with my new magenta gym pants.

Studded all along the leg - all the way up, from the ankle to the waist - wonderful!

There were SO many of them on sale I was surprised thay hadn't been gobbled up as the doors opened.

I strutt into the gym ignoring the little smiles and the raised eyebrow.

As soon as I lie on my side I realise that they really are just "addidas show pants!"
The studs bite into your hips while you count out 100 leg lifts to the ladies on the floor.
The studs grind your thighs as you perform the most beautiful scissor splits.
......and when you stretch.....they pop open!

I have bruises!
I still wear them -
What can I say
I LOVE a bargain

Battery Bummer

Well I woke up and rushed out to be "just" in time for my pilates class and my battery was flat. I quickly phoned the gym with the excuse, after admitting to the group instructor the evening before that I wasn't keen to do the class on a holiday.
Obviously she was dubious.
Car trouble?
I felt like a dog with it's tail tucked in.
....and nothing I could say would change the fact.
It was pouring with rain and I walked to the security gate to look for jumper cables.

The nice man had a four wheeler and said he'd give me a lift to the clubhouse to fetch them.
I hop on the back holding the seat with two fingers, while trying to keep umbrella over head, keys in hand and phone from falling.
I slip around on the roundbar carrier.
The nice man was a very keen speedhump jumper!
We got to the clubhouse in one piece but I declined the lift back!

Anyway I flagged down another nice young man to help me jump start my car.
There are some advantages to being middleaged and a little ratty.

That was the second time in a month!

How does that law work - the one Murphy created?

Never drive anywhere wearing your Pj's -

Well I did!
All the way - ten kilo's- on the highway, to Brooklyn, to post a parcel.

...and while I ran in I left the radio playing.
...and when I got back the battery was flat.
...and I had to call AA roadside assistance.
...and they came, and I payed and chatted and smiled!
...and made as if there was nothing wrong,
...nothing wrong at all with me wearing my Pj's!

Flat Hunt

"If you don't make an offer today, it'll be gone by the morning!" announces the agent. I'm starting to enjoy my outings with the Estate Agents in Pretoria - I think it may be a good way to pass time, even if you're not looking for a property.

The minute you realise that the person driving you to view a place doesn't know you or doesn't particularly care, except for his commission, and then you can have just a little bit of fun.

Receiving an sms announcing, "I have found the perfect place for you!" was exciting. Of course when I got into his car he mentioned that there was just a little bit of work to do. I was skeptical and when we arrived it took me about 2 minutes to decide, that "no" this stinky flat was NOT the one. He then stood outside and informed me that "I'd better decide quickly or it would fly!"
Goodness all these flats and town houses doing a flying or disappearring act when there are 987 properties listed for sale in faerie glen alone. The mind boggles.
Strange thing, that all of the flats shown to me by this particular agent had a funny smell.

"You'll NEVER get granite in the kitchen for THAT price", when goodness I've seen ten new developements, ALL with granite in the kitchen.

"It IS a bit hot in this beautiful little A-frame, "with loft", but you can just put in an aircon".
He failed to mention that you would also have to be a midget to get into the bathroom upstairs.
You would also definitely have to remain seated in the loft area.........or be between the ages of two and six.

When I arrived at a lovely simplex I noticed that there was double electric fencing and four security boards nailed to the wall..........I enquired as to whether there was a security risk and the agent assured me vehemently "NO, as soon as someone TOUCHES the electric fencing, the guards will be here."
Well then why have they installed a laser "eye" on the outside wall?
....and no, we can't open the garage because the vicious dog is locked in there!
"So, Mandy, when will you be making an offer - this is a BARGAIN and the seller is in a hurry."
I replied that I would have to consult with my guru and let him know first thing in the morning.
I quite enjoyed the perturbed look on his face.

One man insists on showing me properties way above my price range, he only informs me as we leave "it's a little more than you wanted to pay, but you can just get a LITTLE bond."
What a freak!

The agent in the sports car said "you're a bit strange because I've shown you three lovely flats but you don't react, and now they're GONE".
Did I really have to remind her that I don't want a stack? Simplex, simplex, simplex. So big deal 3 flats have disappeared and now there are only 984 left!.....in faerie glen.
Then she showed me a simplex, "a needle in a hay stack", she called it - with the garage accessing the yard and 1,5 bathrooms and the perfect garden.
So when I asked to look at the garage, there is no door? and when I enquire she says, "it's in the right place you just have to break through the wall to get access.......it will be PERFECT".
A 1.5 bathroom should be one full and a guest toilet, no? So this more like 1/2 and 1/2, yes?

A young agent showed me a victorian first floor apartment and assured me that I would love the secure feeling "up there". I asked him where my garage was, and he pointed to "down there". When my friend phoned I loudly exclained that "I can't possibly tell this young man that I'm a screamer, and that's why I simply CAN'T take a stack dol!"

Funny that one never phoned me back.....pity, he was cute.

I found out that "don't worry too much about the damp" means (after digging up an old resident) the beautiful developement is built on a vlei!
I had a house that was built on a vlei - so I know why the crack appears in the floor and your life becomes all about covering up the cracks - so you don't buy the house!

As I scroll through the thousands of pictures on the internet, the "huge bargains" I saw six months ago are still there.

A day in the Life.....

So Danny has to be at the airport at 5.30am and of course I oblige.
I love anything that entails coffee in my "car cup" and middle of the night moves - so the alarm goes off at 3.30am and I'm off.
Danny has travelled a lot more than I have, I know because she can wear her slippers to an international airport and onto the plane and not give a fig!
She also whips out her role of Jiffy wrap and proceeds, with the dexterity of a spider, to wind that suitcase up so fast and tight that I get a bit nervous.
I don't say anything.
I look on with great respect.
Anyway my visions of coffee with my travelling daughter are dashed when she declines politely and requests the drop-off!

I'm impresssed by her independence, but I'm also home by 6.00am!

I planned a whole day around this!

I had been meaning to re-apply for my ID for ages and the only place I could go this early in the morning was to Home Affairs, so off I went with a long sigh and thoughts of queueing.

Well, it was a pleasure!

Like a guest of honor I was invited into the plastic booth to have pics taken, paid my R50 and got a much needed update for my "boekie".
In my last ID photo I was a smiling face in the midst of large head of frizzy permed hair, that was taken to either side of my head, with combs in big bunches......it WAS very fashionable at the time.
I was out after a short while and the new ID cost me all of twenty South African rand.

Next stop was the blood bank to donate blood and get a signature on my red card!
I don't think I've been eating very well and after a hectic few weeks of little sleep and 21 lessons of pilates per week they turned me away - my iron levels were low........but at least now I know why I've been feeling so pooped.

Off to the dentist.
My tooth broke a long time ago and you know how it is? Yup, it takes a while to make that appointment. The procrastinating will cost a bit 'cause I had to have root canal treatment.
Just a few little bleating sounds and my dentist obliged with more anesthetic injection - he's such a perceptive man.

The minute I got home of course a wave of exhaustion hit me and I crashed like an old oak tree and woke up feeling "like-you-feel-like-when-you've-slept-for-four-hours-while-the-sun-shines", spoiled and pampered.
.............and ready to stay up all night.........again!

.............and it just so happens to be a "drumming night"
Life is Good

Pretoria Academic Hospital

I’ve just got home from a visit to an uncle in the Pretoria Academic Hospital and I think I may need therapy.

I drove around the hospital block and asked 3 different people for directions to the main entrance.
One security guard led me to the medical faculty and yet another to the “old” HF Verwoerd which is now the Tswane hospital.
One man asked if it was “the old one or the new one?” Well, how would I know – so I used my clue – "the hospital with a nineth floor……………..?”
Aaaah the new one!”
I eventually drove into the gates of the Steve Biko Academic Hospital which had the Pretoria Academic signboard just inside the gates?

I was early for visiting hour but made my way to the entrance anyway.
The lady official behind the door shook her head and said “No, you must wait outside because it isn’t time yet.”

What? “Outside the hospital you mean?!”

“Yes” she nods “until it’s time”.

What are you talking about! Since when can’t you walk into the foyer or wait on the ground floor or go to the chemist.

“Well, can I go to the canteen for a cup of tea?”……….and this gets me entry!
“Yes, she announces, I can, I am allowed to enter if I’m going to have a cup of tea!”

If my eyes weren’t as big as saucers already, they were now.
The coffee shop looked as if it’s been looted!
There were crumbs and papers all over the floor and the shelves held a few scattered sweets .
After trying to work out what exactly was going on , I eventually find someone to answer me, but “No there is no tea Madam”.

Apparently the shop will be under new management on Monday and all I could get was a very dusty looking chocolate bar which I bought while longingly looking at the urn on the counter.
I felt duped.
There IS no chemist or flower shop and now there is obviously no coffee shop.

The Ward held yet more interesting developments.

I was apparently STILL too early and was asked to wait in what felt like a holding cell filled with black plastic chairs.
The obese woman opposite me struggled to get out of her seat with a sigh and a loud fart!

When I asked where my Uncle was I got a grunt from a mouth full of KFC and a long pointed finger on the end of a disinterested arm.

I found him and I was thrilled and grateful.

Sitting on his bed my Uncle told me that he had given his supper to his ward companion who had obviously a large appetite that was in contradiction to his thin frame.
We couldn’t help smiling when the man’s visitors arrived with packets full of food.
He received this with gusto and polished off a pile of Pap and meat.
The visitors then presented three large mangos.
We had to look down and hold our heads as they nibbled and suckled on the mangos making all the appropriate noises chewing through skin and all.
We couldn’t help smiling.

A rattling came through the door and a happy and smiling and wrinkled lady served us all tea in polystyrene cups.
The tea was a sweet prize.

We declined the inch thick slices of brown bread wrapped in cling wrap.
Our hungry compatriot definitely wanted a snack and eagerly dipped his bread into his tea.
I was interested to ask if there was a filling? Was this a sandwich or dry bread?
“No” replied his girlfriend confidently – “it is dry because they aren’t sure - you may be a vegan”.

Hey?

I say my goodbyes.

I look back to wave and see that the visitors are lying all over the man’s hospital bed taking photos, happy snaps of their happy time together in the hospital ward.

I walk out of the ward and pass the ward sisters dipping their arms into greasy bags, pulling out fistfuls of “slap chips” and talking loudly through mouths full of putty.
I think I need help to process this picture.

Everything has slowed down.
I’m speechless.

Platinum or Platinum?

So I have to meet friends at the Hartebeespoort Dam.
I get directions "onto the Platinum Highway and stay on it!
Pass through two toll gates each approximately R7.50.
Before you get to the Dam you’ll pass a BIG wall – Joost van der Westhuizens new development.
The journey should take about forty minutes."
Got it!
I give a few pilates classes on Zambezi Road and I’ve seen the Platinum Highway signboards – so I feel I’m sorted and head off confidently at 8am to be in time for breakfast just before nine.
I pass a number of Platinum Highway signs and feeling cool, hum away to myself.
First toll gate in sight and it’s R9.50?.....mmm ok close enough and then oh? wonderful ! – there’s the long facebrick wall.
I’m impressed on two counts.
That my friends even knew that this was Joost’s development, and that Joost had a low cost housing development that he didn't advertise. After all of stories I've heard maybe I was wrong about the man.
Another Platinum sign board.
I wondered when I was going to veer West? but kept going and breathed a sigh of relief when I see the second toll gate in the distance.
The charge is R35.50 and the alarm bells start to sound.
I also havn’t seen any Hartties signboards yet? but hang on, there’s one up ahead and I keep going.
Bela Bela..............isn't that Warmbaths?
I can't believe it!
I say a "Mantra when Lost" which goes something like........."relax don't panic we are still in South africa relax don't panic fuk think breathe fuk you'll get there relax don't panic we are still in South africa relax don't panic fuk think breathe fuk you'll get there..."
I ask for directions, again.
The nice man tells me that it’s not too far.
"Turn around, go back through two toll gates R35.50. and R9.50, turn west when you get to Pretoria and you'll be heading in the right direction Madam."
Well to say that my face dropped is a bloody understatement!
I nearly fainted, at which point I got a phone call to say “Where ARE you!”
All I could do was stare, breathe, and say “I’m coming”.
So, I did get onto the right road.
I did go through the two R7.50 toll gates.
There they were! The very same Platinum Highway signs!?
I saw the long wall, although rich and creamy and plastered.
I realised that I was right about Joost and that he had not become a charitable philanthropist, .............and there’s a very large bill board with his face plastered all over it, advertising his new and exclusive upmarket development.
I did get to the dam.…….. albeit at 10.30am.
I had a lovely brunch and a wonderful day thank you very much.
.…..and NO I do NOT want to discuss it!

Five Years Younger in just Forty Minutes.

I’ve put off coloring my hair the whole week.
The box of “chocolate 500”, a mocking reminder that I need to use it in the first place and then still halve it in the second, but my grey roots are insisting on some attention.
The thought of giving the 8am fitness class to ten young women at virgin active helps to motivate me.
I set my alarm for six this morning to deal with the pressing crisis.

I groan as I sleepily slap the light switch and realize that it had blown the night before.
Do I really have to balance on a high chair with the torch in my mouth and a screw driver in my hand ?
I look in the mirror and realize there’s no way I could even see the grey in this light.
So yes, out comes the chair, the torch, the screwdriver and as I reach for the very fuzzy screw I realize that I need my glasses !

So now I’m back on the chair peering through the glasses swearing at the bad light and this screwdriver just isn’t doing the job.
After a few mumbled choice words with screws in my mouth, the cover is off.
I do a power backbend and a super sidebend to reach the bulb and the job is done!
I hop off the chair test the switch and up again to return the cover.
In the light of a new 100w globe I realize that the screwdriver is full of dry mud. I had some weeds in my paving and I’ve always used a screwdriver……

So I mix the colour and daub on the miracle that will make me look 5 years younger, make me feel full of fun and energy, sexy, and confident - all in just forty minutes!

STOP PRESS

When I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror I gave a shriek!
I had waited the allotted forty minutes but had forgotten that the eyebrow dye only takes five. So now I have beautiful chocolate roots and very thick pitch black eyebrows!