I move on the 1st October!
One never stays in the same place. Whether you like it or not you grow and move forward. To look ahead must become a habit. Sometimes to look behind at oldlife makes me sad, but newlife memories are funny and I can only shake my head.
I cried the first time I used a box colour on my hair. I was devastated.
I was scared to fall asleep in my flat alone and kept peering through the curtains into the tiny garden, when I did sleep I had nighmares.
I got lost driving to Brooklyn and I cried.
I sang uplifting songs all the way to Jhb when I got a job as a junior web developer, and cried all the way home.
I was ashamed to sit at the uif offices when I was retrenched a year later.
I felt guilt and shame the first time I dated a very sweet man, after being monogomous for 26 years.
I was self-conscious of my body and felt fat and old.
I missed my botox and facials, and I missed my boat.
I felt frustrated that I had to vaccuum and clean my own flat, I needed my housekeeper.
I laughed and cried when I realise that I'd had the shortest career as the oldest junior web developer in probably the whole country.
I cringed when my neighbour, who is old enough to be my child, repremanded me about parking in his spot.
but
Yesterday I laughed when someone put a sign on my car......"do not park so selfishly again!" Ok so I had parked over two parkings because it was the only shade. I left the sign on my windscreen all day and giggled to myself as I watched it flutterring in the wind.
I'm happy and free and never harbour guilt.
Although I've put on weight this year I feel beautiful and competent.
I am liberated.
I am grateful for the lessons and my gps.
Now I'll only look back to shake my head and laugh.
oh....and I bought another power tool!
