Of course the universe has heard my call and is planning my love life accordingly.
A friend pops in for a good old natter and a cuppa.
The lively chatter slows to a deliberate silence and she asks, "so...?" "you still not seeing anyone?"
She knows I'm not, so I wonder what's up and look at her, cocking an eyebrow as a reply.
"Have you ever considered looking on a dating site?", she enquires tentatively.
Definitely not, out of the question, tacky, cheap, not me."NO", I say smiling superciliously.
"Well you should think about it?", she replies and I, "biscuit?"
"There's a very good site on the internet that appears to have a huge database."
Well I just ignore this and change the subject............P-lease!
"It's so easy", she says walking inside towards the computer, "just look at how many interesting men there are in Pretoria."
Yes I know - thinking of Aunty Patty who told my mother, "Mandy will NEVER find a man in Pretoria!" "She MUST go to the Italian club in Johannesburg!"
Well I've thought about that quite a bit actually. I see myself entering the hallowed doors of the "Italian Club" explaining that no, I'm not Italian, and yes, I know that Italians are short and I'm 5ft9, but Aunty Patty said.....
"Come and have a look at some of these nice looking men", she's keen and connected and settled in front of my screen. "You don't use your own name you know."
Oh so that makes the difference! - I can go on under a pseudonym.......how about "Marvelous Me", "Tall and Tender", or even better "Big 'n Beautiful!"
I can't.
"But just come and look, this one seems cute," she insists.
I take a sidelong glance, she suggests a name for me and I grudgingly chose three men out of the first page or two that I think are ok, and one in particular that looks.......like me.
I tempt her away from my screen with more sweet delights.
We say our goodbyes at the gate and I wave calmly.
As soon as her car rounds the corner I dash into my house, jumping over the cat I skid onto my seat and find the site!
I looked though 50 pages, that same night, each with 20 faces which would total 1000 men, all from Gauteng!
I couldn’t stop.
Fascinating.
You pick your "favorites" and then realize that they get a notification....eeek
They see you online and become "fans" (if they're tall enough) and send you a message.
My heart was thumping at the first message and then I realized that you can't chat.....until you pay!
Ok so I won't say I'm hooked, let’s say curious.
Don't say it!
Ok, very curious and maybe a little hooked.
Hooked. I said it!
I make a conscious decision to take only one month’s subscription and pay.
"Billy the Biker" was apparently my 100% match - scratch.
"Romantic Rider" ? scratch.
"Thumper" ? Block, block, block, I won't, I can't do helmet hair!
"Theo's Threesome" ? OK, get me outta here!
"Casual Kent", said that he would be prepared to INVEST in a woman if bla bla bla....delete, delete, delete.
"Naughty Nigel", said that all women wanted a bad boy.........really? What Nonsense!
When "Sizzling Swinger" became a fan I blocked him too and decided to take responsibility and the reins of this seemingly galloping horse.
I was happily off the site within two very intense weeks.
and?
well, I have to say....
in spite of my trepidation...
yes,
I'm grateful to my insistent friend.
ps: inbox me for the address :-)
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