Limirick fun

There once was a man from paternoster
Who walked with a gun in a holster
He said stick em up
But the bullet got stuck
And he landed aloft in a dumpster

                                *

There was a young woman from germany
Who made the best stollen to give to me
I took a small bite and spat it right out
She'd forgotten the raisons and bourbon tea 
I took a tight slap to the back o' the head
And looked up in wide eyed surprise
Her face was red when the dog bit her leg
But she shook him off with a kick
I said, "no more" and made a move to the door
When she charged me with pan in hand
What a day to be had when the energies bad
And the sky is confused with a cloud
I'll go right on home and get pleasantly stoned
And send blessings and love to the toad