I was very drawn to collecting different figures of women, I love African art and placed all the figures up on my cupboard. I was doing a meditation one evening and was positioned in front of the cupboard staring at the figures. The seven stages of women - I counted the statues and there they were, seven of them - I looked it up: Maiden, Wife, Mother, Warrior, Crone, Sage and Healer.
You don't have to have been a wife or a mother but certainly most have been a part of being a partner or a mother figure in an archetypal way. At different times of my life I have been supported by and been support to one or the other of the archetypes.
I looked to my next shelf and sure enough - all girls. The matriarch and the "Gogo", the aunty, niece, sisters, a princess and a queen.
I had been to a healer for relief soon after landing in Fish Hoek and he told me, amongst other wonderful messages, that my feminine was not even in the picture. Mandy was in survival mode and strongly independent. I realised that to create a bond, I had to be vulnerable to my lady friends.
The concept of a female and the lies that I believed from a very young age. Growing up in an environment in which beauty and sexuality are revered and encouraged. I think about the beauty competitions and the magazines, where women are paraded and judged and encouraged to "beat" each other and break each other down - a catfight. Women are measured for the perfect ratio...
My barbie doll had a perfect ratio.
Softening wasn't something I was drawn to, it made me feel unsafe. Pretty felt like weak and being vulnerable was potential failure.
We break those webs of support. We ignore or essential wisdoms, our healing hands and nurturing gifts. I have done this and have missed so much....I have shone a light on her weakness and exposed her shame. I have laughed at her failure and smirked at her trip. I'm grateful for the seeing of it, so that I can change.
I though about the generational line, Great grandmother, Grandmother, Mother, Daughter, Grand daughter. There are patterns that repeat. Passed down behaviours and concepts of what's acceptable keep us blinded and trapped. Where is the wise matriarch? Where is the woman that applauds you for saying no, encourages you to self care and nudges you to follow your star.
There is a ceremonial healing modality called "family constellations" and I joined the circle to clear my own feminine generational line. There is no blame, only awareness of how truths get misconstrued and passed down unconsciously. I felt a huge burden lifted and the flow much better.
See a movie 🎬 Another Self (Turkish) a wonderful example of how generational trauma gets filtered down the line and becomes evident generations later.
My grandmother is one of my angels and has at times appeared in my room to encourage me and her presence stays with me for days, warm full hearted support.
I was thinking about my web of "sista" friends. Female friends that are psychically connected. The girlfriends that just appear at the right time, that deliver a truth with love and seemed to be tethered at a very deep level. I named them on a page and the net of names expanded very quickly. The page was full. Imagine now that every one of my "sista's" has her own support friends and so that net expands exponentially until we are literally all connected. A fractal expansion happens on each node, each person their own center. If I had to locate each "sista" on the map of the world then the net will surely cover the globe. A support system like no other linked instantly in spirit. A good thoughts connection.
A phychic prayer with immediate effect. The more I'm aware of this, the more I'm aware of how I "think" or what I visualise of another person, sista or not - that I am aiding or hampering consciousness.
MgMusings
